Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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