Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
