I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
