I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
