dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Found your dick twin last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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