Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
