stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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