halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
