Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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