I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
