As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize