is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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