Cold hands, warm shart.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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