i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
