Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
