Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
