Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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