You're so nebulous sometimes
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
