I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
