so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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