I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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