i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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