we have pet lesbian snakes
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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