I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
