I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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