is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
