Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
