i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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