I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
