I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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