I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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