Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize