I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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