dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
