Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
