I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
