No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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