On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
