I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
