mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
