Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
