AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
