I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Please don't give away my fajitas
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
