I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
