so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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