your parents love me but you hate me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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