Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
