I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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