we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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