I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
