woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
