did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
