Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
