the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
