you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
