Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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